Tiny Montgomery Clift

This is a story about a dog named Tiny Montgomery Clift. Tiny Montgomery Clift was the luckiest dog in the world. He was the luckiest dog in the world because he got to spend every day with all of his very best friends. His very best friends were all very weird dogs who walked around on their hind legs most of the time, and had a lot of weird hobbies. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved them just the same. His weird dog friends spent most of their days walking in the forest, chanting bizarre incantations and examining the trees very intently. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved to walk, and the forest was full of the most wonderful sticks. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved sticks very much. His weird very best friends also seemed to love sticks, as they had some sticks they carried with them everywhere they went through the forest. Strangely, though, they never asked him to throw the sticks for them to chase, nor did they offer to throw the sticks for him to chase. This struck Tiny Montgomery Clift as very odd. If he could walk on two legs, he thought, he would only stop throwing sticks long enough to chase them.

His very best friend was the weird dog who usually gave him his food. They spent a lot of time together, and Tiny Montgomery Clift loved him very much. The food was very good. Sometimes, he would give Tiny Montgomery Clift a very special treat, but on the condition that Tiny Montgomery Clift do some very specific things before he could eat them. Being a dog, and not speaking very good English, it had taken Tiny Montgomery Clift a very long time to ascertain exactly what set of complex actions his very best friend needed him to perform in order to relinquish the delicious morsels. He had eventually unlocked the code and this seemed to please his very best friend very much, and that pleased Tiny Montgomery Clift very much. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved delicious snacks.

His other very best friend was the weird dog who liked to walk. Tiny Montgomery Clift also liked to walk, so the two of them got along like very best friends. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved him very much. They would walk very long distances in any kind of weather, and this pleased Tiny Montgomery Clift very much. He was also more inclined to give Tiny Montgomery Clift delicious snacks without asking for anything in return. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved to walk and eat delicious snacks..

His other very best friend was the weird dog who didn’t seem to like him very much. He was always telling Tiny Montgomery Clift to go away, and pushing him away, and looking at him as though he would like him to go away. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved him very much. Tiny Montgomery Clift brought him stick after stick, encouraging his very best friend to throw it for him to chase and bring back. His very best friend almost never did, but Tiny Montgomery Clift was certain that the time was coming when he would find the finest stick in the forest and his very best friend would be so pleased that he would throw the stick for him, again and again, until the end of time. So Tiny Montgomery Clift kept on doggedly bringing him stick after stick, day after day, certain that when he found the right stick, their glorious, rapturous infinitum would begin. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved sticks.

One night, Tiny Montgomery Clift’s very best friend (the one who fed him the delicious treats) drank some stinky water and began acting very strangely. He became very loud and it was hard for Tiny Montgomery Clift to tell if he was angry or happy. His very best friend seemed to be focusing his weird behavior on his other very best friend (the one who was waiting for the perfect stick). This friend looked as though he was being asked to throw a stick. Later, his very best snack friend sat up quickly in his bed. It seemed he urgently wanted to eat some delicious snacks he had previously eaten again, because he let them out of his stomach and put them on the floor beside his bed. But instead of eating them again, he made some noises and went to the bathroom. Tiny Montgomery Clift hated to see delicious snacks to go to waste, and since his very best friend now seemed to have decided that eating those snacks once was enough, Tiny Montgomery Clift helped him out by eating them for him. Tiny Montgomery Clift loved delicious snacks.