Monday, February 7, 2011


Well, I did it. I started a twitter account. It felt like I was pissing into the ocean and hoping someone on the other side of the world noticed, but I figure if one person reads my stuff because of it, it will be worth it. Well, maybe not one person. Let's face it, that doesn't exactly amount to a wave of renown. But maybe that one person will be the pope, and he'll retweet it to all his friends, and I will become the next big thing in catholic entertainment. The pope will follow my blog; we'll get to know each other through banter in the comments section, and the next thing you know I'll be summering at the Vatican, knockin' 'em dead with my pope jokes:

“The day pope Benedict was sworn in has been declared an international hollandaise!”

What did the pope say when the furor died down over the catholic priest child sexual abuse scandal? “I feel like a kid again!”

Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week . . . I'll call him Ben, he'll call me an asshole, and we'll fall all over each other, giggling like school girls.  Or altar boys.

Anyway, now I'm trying to figure out how to use twitter to get people to read my blog, without coming off as an asshole. Which is tricky, since my style is basically me coming off as an asshole. And, since I can't bring myself to sit around reading random things called 'tweets' for hours on end, I don't really know what the fuck to do with a twitter account. I already tweeted (really?) what amounts to a couple of ads for my blog, and replied to something some famous (well, Canadian) celebrity said while I was sitting there. It all made me feel like a wanker. But people use the thing, so I'll just have to figure it out, I suppose. Or forget about it and rely on the fact that my writing will attract an audience on its own merit. Hmm.

Update: I haven't tweeted a goddam thing since I wrote this. What's the point?


Drop me a line. Let me know how awesome or shitty you think I am. I can take it.