Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Everything is Broken

My kid decided to break his arm on the first day of summer vacation. That sucked. I met him and his mother at emergency and after a short wait he was x-rayed and put into a cast by the emergency room doctor, a smooth operator who appeared to be a cross between Matthew McConaughey and Owen Wilson. He assured us that although it was clear from the x-ray that the bones were not quite aligned, we'd be surprised how quickly he healed and that before long it would be impossible to tell that it had ever been broken at all.

Before long, we were back at the hospital preparing for our son to undergo a procedure to realign the bones in his arm. We dressed him in his funny dress with the open bottom, covered him in weird creams and stickers, discussed everything that was about to happen and reassured him that it was all going to be fine. Once he was appropriately terrified at his immediate prospects, we were informed that since had had ingested apple juice that morning, he would need to wait a couple of hours before it would all go down.

Since we were at a hospital, a place synonymous with interminable waiting, there was absolutely nothing in the vicinity for anyone with time on their hands to do while waiting. We decided to pay a visit to the only entertainment in the neighbourhood, a local bookstore. When we arrived, we discovered that it was closed. For good. Maybe the drugstore for a magazine? Also gone. In fact, the entire plaza we chose to visit was devoid of any business whatsoever, except for a coffee shop. The kid did not want or need coffee. The whole thing was a bit of a setback, but not something we were unprepared for. You see, this is exactly the kind of thing that happens to us all the time. Just our luck, one might say. And right now you're saying to yourself, oh this guy is just so negative. Stop acting so hard done by, maybe. Oh yeah? Well, just check out this next bit.

After being stonewalled in our initial entertainment efforts, we decided to doggedly pursue some form of distraction for our injured offspring. We soldiered on, choosing to make the fifteen minute or so walk to some nearby something or other my wife knew where to find. Maybe a park, or a school playground. It doesn't really matter. Because about halfway there, she got a phone call from her father. It turned out that our three year old son, whom my wife's parents were watching while we were at the hospital, had fallen off the bed and possibly BROKEN HIS COLLAR BONE.

Really. That happened.

I crouched down, possibly to get as low as I could in order to avoid any more shit that might be headed my way. Maybe I was about to collapse. Maybe both, and more. Anyway, we admitted defeat, turned around, and headed back to the emergency waiting room at the hospital. In the end, one kid had his bones adjusted and one kid had a fractured collar bone. And it only took six hours.




  2. Wow. Fuck. Shit. Jeez... Let's have a drink or two soon...

  3. Quite the tale. . . Why do these things happen? Are situations and experiences like these just random events or are they infused with meaning that just takes a little investigation and analysis to uncover?
    What's the significance? One of my main passtimes is to cogitate on the synchronistic nature of events like the one you described and on 'every day' occurrences of what we sometimes mistakenly call coincidences. Carl G Jung (my guru) coined the term synchronicity. Arsenio Hall used the phrase 'Things that make you go Hmmm...'

  4. I'm still reeling in disbelief!!!

  5. how'd they break his collarbone?

  6. that is pretty crazy. it'll probably happen to me, too, one day.


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